Before I met Julie, I was unlucky in love. My high school girlfriend, Michelle, the girl of my dreams – or so I thought – turned out not to be so. She came from a family of twelve kids. The family loved me. Letty, the four-year old, wanted to come with us on dates and so we took her to Como Zoo in St. Paul with us. Her Mom was planning our wedding. I thought I was in like Flynn.

We held hands and kissed but did nothing further. Then one night she called and asked if I wanted to go to the drive-in. She’d pick me up in her folks’ station wagon and bring bedding in case we got “tired”. I was excited – figuratively and literally – this was “it”. She showed up with five of her youngest siblings in the vehicle and we saw The Boatniks and With Six You Get Eggroll. We sat in the front, Letty between us. I might as well have had my seat belt on.

We went off to college. She went to St. Catherine’s College in St. Paul while I attended St. Cloud State University in St. Cloud. We were still an item and then at Christmas she informed me she was pregnant. I assumed it was an immaculate conception since she was at a Catholic university, and we had never been intimate. Turns out I was being two-timed. She and the father of the twins just celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary.

My next great love was Paula. I dated her and thought there was something real there. I asked her to marry me. I was a senior in college, and she was a sophomore. She said “no” but for all the right reasons. We were too young. We were still in school, in two separate cities no less. Neither of us had jobs yet. Her practicality was one of the things I loved about her. We took a break and after she got out of school, I started seeing her again. We dated on and off for five years over an eight-year period. I asked her a second time to marry me. She said “I didn’t know you still felt that way about me – no.” I was driving from Mitchell, South Dakota to St. Paul, Minnesota twice a month – sometimes more often if there was a holiday in there (Veteran’s Day for example). It was a 700-mile round trip, and you didn’t know I still felt that way about you – WHAT!?! Four months after I quit seeing her, Paula invited me to her wedding to Scott. He was an active-duty Marine. I guess it took a Marine to handle her – Semper Fi! To satisfy your curiosity, no – I didn’t attend the wedding. They are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary this year (my sister is still friends with Paula’s sister, they were in the same high school graduating class together).

So, I swore off women for a time but in August of 1987, I was struck by Cupid’s lightning bolt. I was in line at Randall’s (now Coborn’s) situated where the Dollar Store is located in the north mall now. In the line next to me with her big eighty’s hair in a red t-shirt and grey short shorts was a stunningly beautiful young woman. The clerk knew her and asked if she had graduated from college yet. She said, “Not yet but this semester, six years is long enough.” I thought, “Pretty, but dumb” and we went our separate ways.

The next Monday she was across the hall, student teaching with Jerry Opbroek. I said something sensitive to my class like, “Has anyone seen the babe student teacher across the hall?” A quiet girl raised her hand. I called on her. She said, “That’s my sister. You should go out with her.” It turns out Cheryl was very popular and by Thursday hundreds of students were asking me in the hall and before class when I was going to ask the babe student teacher out.

So, on Friday, to shut down the gossip in the halls I walked across the hall and said, “My name is Mel Olson.” She said, “Oh yes, I know who you are.” I thought, I’m sunk. I said, “You wouldn’t want to go out to dinner or something, tomorrow, would you?” It has been my experience that if you don’t give a woman a list of references, a week’s advance warning and a DNA sample – she won’t go out with you. Julie said “Yes” and that was it.

It turns out that Julie had a Bachelor’s degree and a Master’s degree in Biology and had spent some time doing research on fish at the Yankton Fish Hatchery as part of their seeding program for South Dakota lakes and rivers before deciding on pursuing her teaching degree. Hence the six years at USD.

We did something together nearly every day, even if it was just sharing a pop in the teachers’ lounge and having a conservation. We started dating in September of 1987. On December 15, 1987 I asked her to marry me. I wasn’t going to spend five years courting to be turned down again like happened with Paula. Julie said “yes”. We got married July 30, 1988.

She’s changed my life. She has been my everything. She’s given me two beautiful and accomplished children, which was largely her doing. She enabled me to pursue my dreams in politics. I’m tremendously proud of her and fortunate she agreed to marry me.

We’ve had only two real arguments in our married lives. One was who had to take Spenser, a Pokémon aficionado, to those awful movies. There were five of them and we saw every one. I lost that argument and had to suffer through all five of those movies for and with Spenser. The other argument was over which one of us was more stubborn. It started out as playful banter and quickly got serious. Finally, to end the argument, I had to admit I was more stubborn. I think that fact proves my point…

Julie had open heart surgery in January 2023, and they had to go in twice. I thought I was going to lose her, and it was touch and go there for a bit. That scare brought home to me how much I love her and how much she means to me. I can’t live without her.

The thirty-fifth anniversary is “Coral”, and the traditional gift is “Jade”. I didn’t do that, but I did do something special to show her she is the love of my life. The key to a long-term marriage is to realize that it’s a journey, not a destination. Many young people think marriage is about love and it is, but it is more about friendship the longer the marriage lasts. If your spouse is not your friend at some point it isn’t going to matter that they are still your lover. I thought, when Michelle got pregnant by another fella and Paula told me no and said yes to the Halls of Montezuma that I was unlucky in love. It turns out the old adage is true; “When God closes a door, He opens a window.” Garth Brooks has a song that covers this situation, it’s called “Unanswered Prayers”, check it out.

A little heartache can be good for a person. It can clarify what you’re looking for in a significant other and make you more appreciative of that special someone when you do come across them. By the way, Julie still has that red t-shirt and those grey short shorts. They still fit, she still wears them and still looks stunning in that outfit. I’m the luckiest man on Earth, and I know it.