All I ever wanted to be was a professional baseball player. I wanted to play for the Minnesota Twins. I grew up in St. Paul Park, Minnesota and the Twins played just twenty miles away at the Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington. The box seats were along the foul lines. No sky boxes or luxury suites in those days, everyone was outdoors where baseball is meant to be played.
I saw Rod Carew, Tony Olivia, Harmon Killebrew and others play ball, including my favorite Twin – Cesar Tovar. In 1968, Cesar Tovar became the second player in Major League Baseball history to play all nine positions in one game. Of course, I saw star players from other teams (like Reggie Jackson, then with the Oakland A’s) when they were in town to face the Twins.
I started playing ball in Little League, moved up to Babe Ruth (Minnesota’s version of Teeners) and then high school. I “played” a year in college; my position was “bench”. Occasionally, I pinch ran or even more seldom pinch hit. It was clear. I didn’t have as much talent as I thought and certainly not as much as the others on my team. I would never play in the pros.
My most embarrassing moment as a young player was when my mother was in the stands. My true and legal name is “Maylin”, an Americanization of the Norwegian name “Mahlon”. I was at the plate and my mother shouted, “Maylin! Hit a touchdown!” The entire stands and field collapsed in laughter. The catcher was so beside himself, he had to take his mask off and sit down while he cried and heaved with hilarity. The umpire put his hand on my shoulder and said, “It’s all right. We all have mothers.” I was so mortified and mad, when play resumed I hit a double and stole third. I demanded my mother never to come to the games again. She argued that she had been motivational. We compromised; she still came to my games but yelled no more.
Summer activities and athletics are here, with parents and other supporters in the stands. Adults need to remember what summer activities are for. First and foremost, these activities are for kids. They are not for adults to relive their glory days or to make up for past missed personal opportunities through their children. Any “yelling” should be in the form of encouragement and support for your child or side. It should not be in the form of negative comments towards your child or about their performance or even put downs of opposing players. It also should not be in the form of advice, no matter how good it is. During the game is not the time. Your child either will not be able to distinguish your comments from others in the stands or they will simply ignore you out of anger or embarrassment. Any coaching during the game should be done by the coach. After the game, on weekends or whenever will be your time to work on skills with your child – should they be interested.
I say this is about the kids in sports from my personal experience as a coach. I witnessed a young man from O’Gorman win state titles in his various flights during my time as Mitchell High School’s boys’ and girls’ tennis coach in the early 1980’s. When he won his final title as a Flight One State Champion, he went to center court and broke his racquet (still wooden rackets for most kids in those days) and swore quite a blue streak at his father, vowing never to play tennis again. It was clear that tennis was his dad’s thing and always had been. Youth sports should be about youth, what they want and are interested in, period. There are lots of important things to be firm with your child about and to lock horns over, sports just isn’t one of them.
Second, youth sports should primarily be about fun. I’ve always objected to sports being all about winning. Yes, at the amateur baseball level, college and varsity high school level I do agree it is about winning. However, at every level below that and especially in the summer it should be about having fun. These lower levels of competition are about, or at least should be about, learning the fundamentals of the game, mastering the situations and strategy of the sport and about playing. There is no reason why every kid on the team shouldn’t start and play in games.
I know, you’re saying “Mel, the math doesn’t work.” I get it. Baseball fields nine players and coach has a roster of fifteen, not all can start. True, not all can start that particular game but those that didn’t start in that game can start in the next game. I was the Teener Baseball Coach in the mid 1980’s. I had a 13 year old team, a JV squad and the varsity Teener team. I did baseball nearly seven days a week all summer long. Obviously, how long a pitcher stayed on the mound depended on the length of the game, pitch count and how badly we were getting shelled. I rarely let a catcher play more than one game of a double header. The position is just too physically taxing and a real killer in the summer heat under all that equipment. Some kids played more than others, but everyone played, and everyone started in turn. No one rode the bench.
Jay Eidsness was my short stop. Jay was a great kid and no slouch at short stop either. His dad came to me and complained that Jay wasn’t getting enough playing time. I pointed out that Jay started most games, played in all of them except for when the family was on vacation in Florida. I asked dad if he wanted the team to travel with them on vacation so Jay could get more playing time in. That was the end of “my kid needs more playing time” discussions.
Unless your child is being abused in some way, for example always at practice but never playing, being sworn at by the coach or worse – stay in your lane. If you want to be the coach, volunteer for the job but don’t do it from the stands or on the phone.
Third, youth sports should be a low to no stakes competition. Who cares what the T-ball standings are or what a youth league team’s win/loss record is as long as your child is learning the game, getting some exercise and having some fun. I’ll concede that winning is more fun than losing but come on, put things in perspective.
Fourth, youth sports and school sports below the varsity level should be about player development. Mitchell is notorious for identifying “sports stars” in elementary school and then only playing those individuals all along the line to the detriment of other children, late bloomers and Johnny Come Lately sport kids. Successful varsity sports depends on player development at the lower levels of competition, keeping kids interested in the sport so that there is some depth to rosters when the varsity level is reached.
I love the sign first posted in Pleasanton, California and copied all around the country at youth sports facilities. It reads:
I’m just a kid.
It’s just a game.
The coach is a volunteer.
The officials are humans.
No scholarships will be handed out today.
Be an asset not an asshole to and for your kid this summer.
The old Met stadium is gone now, and so is my dream of being a Minnesota Twin. In place of Met Stadium is the Mall of America, which is situated on top of the old stadium site. They preserved home plate. It is in the center of the Mall, in the area with the amusement park rides. Whenever I’m at the Mall of America I always step on home plate, imagining I’ve “hit a touchdown” and am being greeted at the plate by Cesar Tovar and other Twins of a bygone era.
I’ll see you in the stands this summer. I’ll be the one clapping and cheering for the kids out on the field in a positive way while recognizing the officials are doing their best. What will you be doing?